115 MPH to Nowhere (1)

Contrary to what people may think, I am not an open book. Surprise, surprise, I know. I certainly have my moments when I will blab about whatever has happened in my life. Typically that’s rare and when it happens it’s two in the morning. I could say that I don’t discuss my past because of my parents. That is partly true. I also, could tell you about how I think that my past is boring to me and why in the hell would you want to hear about it? Do you really want to hear about how I could have been in prison at age 11 for four counts of attempted murder and arson? Or how about the incest (that isn’t actually incest) that happened about eight years ago? Really, my family; all things considered, is pretty fucking normal. Maybe they’re not normal and they’re actually super fucked up but it just feels normal to me now.

I wouldn’t even know where to begin with stuff. Good or bad? Or should I just mix it all together like a bad drink? Bad drink it is!

crazy random life stuff...to be continued

Echo

Unedited mostly

I could hear your voice in the distance
Your southern accent carried over through the phone
I could just barely hear it
The emotions stirred in my soul
The crack in my heart splits a little deeper
An icy wind blew through making my breath catch
I can still hear your voice in the distance
It carries across the country
It traveled with me from the past
Lingering for a year
No matter how much I try to clean out my mind
Or to refresh my brain
It does not fade
It stays an unending echo
Maybe it takes more time
But how long can an echo continue on?

Break between real writing and blog writing.

Howdy. It is now the second of November. So, you say? Well, that means it is the second official day of NaNoWriMo. I'm at 1,824 words right now. I had to finish my count for yesterday since I couldn't keep my eyes open in the evening. I went to bed at around 8pm and dragged my ass out of bed at 4. Drove to the 24 hour starbucks and started writing again. I've been trying to find the right music to spew my words to but not finding it. And now it's about 7 and far too many people all talking at the same time. It's driving me nuts. It just makes me want to tell everyone to shut up. But...I don't think I'm allowed to do that. If I tried writing at home right now, I would just crawl back into bed and sleep for another 5 hours. No can do.

My novel: Scarlet Letter Ana
Synopsis: This is going to be a about a woman who picks up women at bars, restaurants, wherever and kills them if she finds out they're cheating on their significant other. She does this after she finds her lover of 8 years in bed with another woman. On their anniversary. Ana snaps and kills them both and then moves to Vegas.

I have to see how much of this I can get written before I fly out to Atlanta on the 20th. There will be more distractions once I'm out there. I'm excited to go out there...but...I do want to actually complete my novel this year.

1,824 right now. To be right on schedule I need to have at least: 3,334 words. It's too bad I'm working nearly fulltime now. Not officially but...mostly. Maybe I can see if I can just work mornings since I am, technically, "part-time." Yes I need the hours, which equals money, but I also want to have plenty of time to write when I'm most awakeful.

ugh. There are people smoking outside. I wants one. *sigh*

Hmm...I bet that woman who just took two Sunday papers didn't pay for them. Sure didn't look like it. Fairly sure they're not free.

Anyway, blogging equals procrastination from novel writing. Back to it I go.

Well here we are....

I found out yesterday, on my seven and a half hour drive down to Tucson to go see family, that I got another job. Woo!! I'll be working part time for the company until they open up their new office in January. I'll be able to be fulltime by December 15th though. I'm very happy about it. So right now I'll be working two part time jobs until then. I have to let both jobs know that I want about a week and a half off around Turkey-day to be able to go see Leigh. My mother thinks I should come home for Thanksgiving because my oldest brother, his wife and three monsters...I mean wonderful children, will be there. It's been almost a year since I've seen them but no. I'll see them the next time I go back up to Washington.

Next month is November, which means...novel writing time! I've got to come up with something....fast. I've got a couple things in mind but I'm not entirely sure whether or not I want to go with one or the other. Who knows. I've got three weeks to pull a novel out of my ass. Leigh is planning on going for it too, so; while I am in Atlanta we will be writing a good amount of the time when we're not doing...other things. You know, watching TV, hanging out with people, going places....stuff like...that.

Anyway. I also want to just write and write all the random shit that's in my head, out onto paper. Who knows, that could even turn into a novel. Somehow. Too bad I can't remember the crazy dream I had the other night. That would have been an interesting novel.

I was thinking the other day that it's really too bad I'm not playing the stocks. Apparently right now would be a great time to buy certain stocks because they'd jump back up eventually. If I had any money to invest into the stock market I'd think about it. But right now I don't. Plus I don't really know that much about the whole market. I learned some stuff about it in high school and even did some game that was like playing the actual market. I think I need it explained better or something. I usually need to be able to see something done in order to really get how it works and then I can get my hands dirty and get it even more as I make mistakes and get more explanation. Hard to do at times.

The election....nevermind. I hate talking about the election and politics. Yes, I know it's my country, my rights and all that but I just don't like having someone else making the decisions for me. Can't I just make my own choices and just do it? I don't like asking permission. I don't want to ask if I can get married, have an abortion, use my money here or there, own a gun, or whatever from someone who doesn't know shit about me and my life and probably could care less. I'm fairly small on the totem pole. But ya...I hate politics.

But anywho...I have a seven plus hour drive back to fabulous Vegas. So, I should get some sleep.

I loooove sushi

THAT is awesome! I made some sushi last night while my roommate was away. I did one inside out roll with teriyaki salmon, strips of carrot, cucumber, and cream cheese...very yummy. I also did one regular roll that was the same as the inside out roll except I didn't put cucumber it it. I also had my first attempt at tempura carrots and onions. They turned out ok but the tempura tasted...interesting. I don't know if it's because it was premade stuff that came in a bag or if I used the wrong kind of oil and it wasn't hot enough. Who knows. They were pretty good too. Of course we had some miso soup and some cucumbers in lime juice with sesame seeds. NOM!

Sushi, amazingly, can easily be done with no money. My roommate and I bought a giant bag of rice, a big ole bag of imitation crab sticks (that are perfect size for rolls), we have salmon and telapia. All we need are some fresh veggies every now and then. I wonder how well a bag of frozen green beans would do. hmm. But we both love it. It doesn't take us long to make and we don't have to spend much money on it. (Until we run out of fish).

On a different note...my room is still a mess from moving but it's getting there. I can be done today. I fixed my closet yesterday so I could actually hang up clothes...imagine that.

You know what I absolutely love? *slightly...dripping sarcasm* Is roommate drama. I live with two other people. There's Laura who I lived with at the other apartment and then there's Jen....we'll leave her as just Jen. Now, I'm friends with both of them but they are not friends with each other. Each of them think the other is a bitch. Jen likes to have her way even if someone says no. For example, since Laura is sleeping out in the dining room, Jen asked her if she wanted curtains around for some privacy. She got a straight up 'no' for an answer. What did Jen do the other day? Put up the curtains anyway. Was Laura pissed? Absolutely. Laura also hid the curtain from Jen because even after Laura took it down and was pissed...Jen planned on putting it back up. WTF? Now...since Jen is not on the lease at this point...if things get messy then we could technically just tell her to pack up her stuff and go find another place to live. Will it turn to that? I don't know...stay tuned!

My dad's started calling me more to see how I'm doing. Weird. I am always the one to call my parents and see what's happening. While I lived in Spokane, I went three weeks to see if they would call. Nope. My dad's called me twice now all on his own. I actually need to call and talk with my mom because well....it's my mom. I dunno if I'll be going down to Tucson anytime soon. Depends on the financial situation.

I may sell my car because...it would save me around $500 a month. That's money that I could be using to pay off the debt. I could deal with the bus...I don't like it but I could do it. I'm going to see what other job I get before I do it so I know if I can go from one job to the other by bus or walk in a short amount of time. Then I could also have money to be able to go to Atlanta for Thanksgiving. I wish I could go sooner but that's just not something that can happen at this point.

But anyhow...I don't think there's much else. Back to the cleaning!

Deleted but reposted...

http://shaydom.myminicity.com/

Can the money start rolling in? Please?

I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I thought having a part time job would be good for me. Uh..no. Especially when moving to a new apartment and such. I haven't had time to do any real art work at all. Plus my girlfriend was in town for two weeks and that kind of distracted me from getting other things done. I'm not complaining about the distraction....just need to start pulling money out of my ass to be able to pay rent and the bills for next month. Plus...getting into a car accident sure as hell didn't help the financial situation when I had a $500 deductible to pay. Oh fun. I wasn't hurt, the car is better, and I'm hoping not to get sued by the person I hit. They could try but I have nothing that they'd get from me. What would that be...uh...trying to squeeze blood from a rock? Ya...right. I did hardly any damage to her car. But she's claiming soft tissue damage. Great. My car was in the shop for 2 weeks. That sucked. I wish I had a photo. Damn. I wonder if my insurance has one.

Anyone know of any good paying jobs that I could try and get? I actually applied at Walmart last night. woo. Unenthuastic woo but hey it would be money. I should be getting a call back from a lady about doing photography part time for shows on the strip. They provide training and equipment. Woo! I'd prefer that over Walmart for sure. I think I'm going to call the owner of the company I used to work for and see if she'll hire me back. We'll see.

I'm supposed to have another part time job starting on the 15th but that's not for over two weeks and bills are due next week along with rent. I'd really prefer not to get evicted for not being able to pay first months rent. That would suck. Horribly.

Anyway...I should sleep so I can work at my part time job tomorrow and get a check to be able to pay rent. woo!

It's official!!

It is actually my last of day of work at the O&P shop I've worked at for 13 months. They aren't extending my time anymore and not even giving me a part time offer. I personally think they're making a mistake since two of the guys that work there don't know how my boss likes things done when he has braces made and he's fuckin' picky. Oh yes. Mwahaha. I'm laughing inside though. They're bummed I'm leaving...two months after my two week notice. I told them I'd come in and help out maybe if they really need it. I do have a part time job already lined up and I'll be working there only 2 days a week but hey...it's something. I have an interview that will be set up in two weeks, after the manager gets back from vacation, at another place where I'd be working full time if I'm hired.

It's kinda exciting leaving a job...bumming at the same time because it means...no income...but exciting at the same time. I'll have lots of time to get a whole lot done. It means I won't have to leave work early to go deal with social security and with medical insurance, which I have none of at the moment and there are doctor's appointments I need to get to.

So...yes. I actually went to the gym this morning for an hour and a half as well. I haven't been regularly for about 3 months or so now. I'll be laying in bed all day tomorrow not able to move. I wish. Too much to do.

Sad thing is...my boss is bringing in donuts this morning. If I have one...it kinda cancels out my whole workout. Just one. Tomorrow I start a real good diet and stick to it. Yes.

Anyhow....last day of work starts in 12 minutes. Toodley!

Late night cleaning

I was cleaning out my drawer from the bathroom and found a few things. One being the bracelet on the left. Woo! I thought all the beads on it had broken ages ago and had thrown it away or something. But..apparently not. It's still in the same condition as I got it from Leigh oh...3 years ago.

I found my rings I'd been looking for too. Imagine that. Right where they belong.

My roommate and I are moving into a new apartment next month. My friend Jen is moving in with us as well. Rent for the whole apartment is more expensive but with 3 people...it shall be cheaper. Cheaper is good. The apartment is pretty awesome and is a lot bigger than what we have now. I put in my 30 days notice tonight and may have slightly fibbed in the letter. I said something about how it had been a pleasure living there and blah blah blah. Slight fib. Mind you...I hate these apartments. But I should play nice until I get my deposit back. Getting $300 back would be fabulous. So, I won't be a bitch to the apartment people until I have money in my hand.

Leigh is coming to Vegas on the 12th and will be staying for just over two weeks. I'm quite excited about that. Didn't have to pay as much for a plane ticket. It was supposed to be free but by the time you're done with fees...you've bought a whole ticket. Ok maybe not that much but...ya.

I'm still job searching. Man is that crappy. My roomie is looking for a job as well. I've still got a job for the next week unless my work decides to keep me longer...again.

Who the hell calls at 3am and hangs up without saying anything after being answered? They're lucky I wasn't sleeping...bastards.

I'm still in the middle of a couple mosaics. I'll have time tomorrow to work on them between taking my car to the show, going out to lunch and packing. I will post pictures as soon as I finish..something.

Here's a few pics from my trip back to Vegas from Phoenix.

A new time around

In three days I'll have been in Las Vegas for a full year and next year will make a second year. My roomie and I are staying another year! Neither of us have had any luck with jobs, housing or our financial situations. So, we're being smart and staying in town and figuring everything out before moving. We are moving....just to another apartment complex that is WAY better than the one here. It's bigger and prettier and taken better care of. It has a lot more room outside on the patio too. It means I don't have to be crammed in a tiny space to do my mosaic stuff. I'm excited actually. I'm even getting used to Vegas or maybe it's because I feel that year can be better. Less drama makes for a better time. Yes. Let's aim for that. That's my new year's resolution...new year from June to next June. A better year with less bullshit. That shouldn't be too hard...hopefully.

Yesterday I discovered that I somehow booked a plane flight to be leaving a day earlier than I wanted. I work on the day that it's scheduled. Shit. I'll either ask my boss if I can just have an unpaid vacation day or figure out a way to change the ticket. Really, I would save money by just skipping a day of work. Plus, since I'm going to Atlanta, why would I complain about spending a whole extra day with Leigh? Hmm. I wouldn't. With all the fees with airlines...Ya. Plus..I only have a week left there after the 4th of July. Wicked. Now, another job would be nice.

It feels like a very chill day today. I need to finish cutting tile for one mosaic and lay those down and then work on another. I'll have pictures after those are completed!

So here's what's happening

I'm being sensible. Yup. I'm NOT moving until about August. I realistically still need to get my finances straightened out and out of the red before I move. Also, when I move I don't plan on living with my sister. My roommate that I have now actually wants to move to Seattle as well so we'll probably stay being roommates, when we move, because she's cool and all and compared to past roommates...she's fairly normal. Maybe we'll grab up a couple of other people as well and get a house because that would mean there was more room and maybe just maybe we'd do more social type things together. I'm moving for me now instead of doing what makes everyone else happy. I'm going to Atlanta to visit over 4th of July weekend, also known as Pride weekend there. bwahaha. I get TWO Prides this year. How exciting. No it doesn't help me financially but you know, I'm taking the chance I have to go see Leigh because after that it might be a little bit. It'll all work out. I feel less stressed now that I'm not trying to pay off all my debt in the next 2 weeks. Good god. I am looking for a second job to hopefully do full time. I asked my boss about staying until August since I'd already put in my two weeks notice. He said he would ask the owner. Hopefully...it's a yes because it's a decent pay check coming in and really...if the company doesn't want to fuck themselves even more, they'll keep me on. I'm doing my tech job AND ordering, receiving and shipping. They used to have Cindy doing all that full time. It's hard trying to do two jobs that require full time attention. Kind of stressful with that.

Well, off to the stress factory...work. Gotta be there early, work through lunch and sure as hell better not work after 5. I don't get paid enough to do that.

I feel like bitching

So I'm sitting in my apartment that is um...90 degrees. It's 89 degrees outside. Does anyone see something wrong with this picture? Really isn't it supposed to be cooler inside than outside during the summer? Yes. It got to 104 degrees here in Hell, I mean Las Vegas. Tomorrow it shall be about 107 degrees. Hell. Ugh. Why did I ever move here? The airconditioner was apparently "fixed" today. Don't know what they did since the little light for emergency heat is still going on and it's just the fan going. The actually AC is not running. This the second time they've "fixed" my airconditioner. Seriously?? WTF. I had a problem with my AC when I first moved in back in August. It took them SEVEN tries to fix the leaking pipes. You know if people did their jobs right the first time and used the PVC glue to keep the pipes glued together and from leaking...UGH. I'm going to melt before I move to Atlanta. By next month I'll just be a puddle and I'll be getting mailed to Leigh in a few gallon zip-lock bags. That's...a disturbing image. Anywho. I blame the heat for my ramblings.

Now I'm going to dream of being zip locked into baggies. Damn. My own damn fault too. The AC better be fixed tomorrow. I will be quite irritated otherwise.

The other tattoo

So the tattoo shop that did my tattoo on Friday night was having a party on Saturday and were doing $25 tattoos. Small ones of course. So Laura and I couldn't help ourselves and went right when they opened. We weren't the first one's there but we were magically the first ones tattooed. So I decided I would get the star and moon that Leigh drew for me. I didn't tell her I was getting it done. I just showed it to her when I got home. Wee!! That one is on my chest. Those...hurt. So....two tattoos in one weekend. And two different people drew them and I made both of them cry. *sigh* I seem to have that affect on people.

Oh, it's Mother's Day. I'll be at home all day since my mother is 6 hours away. If I was at home we'd go to church and then go out to lunch somewhere and that would be our day.

Let's...36 days before Atlanta. Woooo! Not soon enough. Bunches to do still. Agh.

new addition to my body

So last night, I came home after had a couple drinks was feeling good (parrot bays...mmmm) and was going to drink a little more at home since you know it was Friday night and I could; well my roommate came out at one point and said she wanted to get her lip pierced and a tattoo and said we should go. So, after a few hours we found the place that one of my friends said was by appointment only (it wasn't when we got there) and got our tattoos. Cleen who did our tattoos was a very personable guy and sang the oldies songs that were on the radio and such. Very cool. Laura got a "D" put on one of my fingers and I got the above design on my left shoulder. Wooo!! I like it bunches. I love how it doesn't hurt nearly as much to get tattooed on shoulders than on back. I now have a tattoo on each shoulder and the one between my shoulder blades. Cindy drew the design a little while back while she was bored at work so she said I could use it. Someone else edited it a little bit and then Cleen did a little more and now it's that. Oh the things that we do in the spur of the moment. And no...I was not tipsy or anything by the time I actually got the tattoo done.

So I guess everyone who told me that our relationship would lead to her trying to kill herself for cheating on her husband, that she'd be depressed, that our friendship would turn into nothing but coworkers, or that it would lead to us not having any contact period...say it..."I told you so." Any of you who had little part any of those events occurring. You won.

I don't know what to feel anymore. Anger? No, not really anymore. I was for a little bit tonight at some point. Relieved? It seems wrong to feel relieved when my closest friend says she's done. No texting, calling, hanging out, myspace, anything. I feel a little bit relieved but...why? It really doesn't seem right to have that emotion at this time though at 2am I suppose anything can be felt. Sad, anxious, nervous, exhausted, numb. Numb definitely wins out right now I think. After everything being done or said tonight I think numb fits just right. I don't think I could cry anymore. I've done plenty of that and not even all of it about her. More about my girlfriend. Just worries and fears I suppose. Numb. I should get some sleep but I'm not ready to. Especially since I know she's outside sleeping in her car outside my apartment. She won't go to his house and she can't come in here since we're not having contact. She's getting her stuff later today. Like her furniture and whatever else. I've found a couple things that I know I'll give back and things that I don't think I should. And one item that I'm sure she wants badly but I won't give it to her. Her x-acto knife that she liked to use to cut herself. I already moved this to a location where she won't find it in case she wants to look for it.

Just numb. Disbelief. Yes. I don't think I ever thought it would ever really reach this point. Ya we had our stupid fights about this and that but always came back to each other. But I don't think there's a coming back this time. She wants to go and not look back. I guess not working with me anymore will help with that. Fuck. I really can't help but sit here and think...is it really done? After all these months where apparently it was one sided. Really? It turned into her really meaning that she gave too much because she gave her whole heart. I had at one point but I closed myself off again. Part of my fears about stuff with my actual relationship.

I think, maybe, it is ok to feel somewhat relieved. Like a weight off my shoulders. *sigh* I just don't know.

I'm just thinking back now on how the night had been going well and then it completely turned because I asked a simple question.

Fuck it. It's done. Enough thinking. Enough bullshit. I need my 4 and a half hours of sleep. ...And she just drove off. Nice timing...I guess.

PRIDE in Vegas!

So the Pride parade was on Friday night. It was alright. The most entertaining part of it was actually the very beginning where some super religious guy with a sign tried to stop the parade and ended up having 4 cops on top of him trying to handcuff him. My roommate tried to get video of it but i don't think she realized she was trying to film through someone's head. Bummer.

I would have totally posted that video. I was right in front watching that whole thing. Funny thing is, my friend Jenn thinks it's the same guy that we saw when we were walking down Fremont street and he had a sign about how sodomy was a sin and those who did it were going to hell. The guy planned on getting arrested because on his sign it said something about "I was arrested for..." blah blah blah. I wish I got a picture of the sign before it got torn to shit by Jenn.


Yesterday was the festival, which was actually pretty fun. I got a few free things. Including water pistols and like...4 decks of playing cards. Oh and a couple of gay bracelets aaaand a WaMu account. I FINALLY have a bank that is actually national instead of just a bank that is in Texas. Yes...so if I get random cash I can actually deposit it into an account instead of hoping I don't spend it or have to go get a money order so that I can mail it to my account in...Texas. Yes.

We ended up going to one of the gay bars and watched a drag show. The show was better the first time I went. Eh. Probably because there wasn't a male stripper that was doing a show in the middle of the drag show. Thanks but....I really didn't want to see a male stripper. Thank god it wasn't a full monty show. Ya...no. I ended up passing out to Deal or No Deal when I got home.

Oh oh...and i picked up giant blue and yellow balloons out of my apartments parking lot. They were there...just looking all lonely at 11pm and so I took them home. Yup...they are not sitting on my day bed.

Anywho...I would post a few pictures from Pride but Cindy has my camera. Oh and she totally had her ass grabbed by some guy Friday night after Hooters. Apparently people think that's ok to just grab strangers and just keep walking like nothing happened. Right. Oh and I think Hooters has shitty food. My burger was overcooked and the onion rings kind of were mushy ish. ew. I doubt I'll eat there again. I'm just a little picky sometime.

Late night Denny's trip

So...I've been doing a lot of feeling these past few weeks. Too much feeling if you ask me. I've definitely been working on not having the emotions pop up as much, which for me really isn't that great to do. I shouldn't but...habit. It's easier and less...weak. Yes...I know, showing emotions isn't weak but I'm tired of people thinking that's all that I am. Emotional. Ugh. I don't want to be like my friend who was crying like 2-3 times a day, day after day for awhile after I broke her heart. Maybe someday I'll let myself just cry it all out instead of just biting back the tears.

Anyway. I went to Denny's tonight at about 10:30 and was there for like an hour and a half with this friend who's heart I broke. We did a bunch of talking and just getting stuff out. We'll see how things go between us. I don't know. I just don't want to feel guilty. I don't want my girlfriend guilty. I don't want my friend feeling guilty for everyone else feeling guilty or hurt. There's just so much crap to get away from and start a fresh.

Oh...and Grey's Anatomy Season 5 started tonight before the Denny's trip. Good start to the season. woo! I'll be watching that religiously every Thursday night at 9 for the next few weeks. Sad? no....I don't think so. Everyone has their shows that they have to watch.

On the side I linked my new blog, which has photo's of some of my mosaics that I have done. I will try to update that everytime I have some new stuff going. I'll post some in-progress pictures this weekend.

Anyway...it's a quarter to one and I sadly have to work at 8. Though...it is Friday and a payday Friday at that. yay. G'night.

Car accident

So check out this link. Leigh sent it to me and it's hella funny. It's about a guy who witnesses a car accident: http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

The never ending debt

I'm realizing just how much it sucks to try and get rid of credit card debt. It sucks even more when there's a goal of having five grand (or close to it) paid off in two months. This means that I cannot use my cards for ANYTHING. Unless I'm fucking dying somewhere and have to suddenly pay for an ambulance on the spot. Unlikely. I actually have money in my checking account which I will only spend about$17 of today so that I can have giant transfer paper. The transfer paper will be my help to do my mosaics much more easily and more efficiently, which means I can make more money sooner, which then means...bye bye debt. Now by the time I pay off the debt...I will either have had extra money saved up for my long ass journey to Atlanta or I will be back to paying off some debt. But...it won't be five grand this time. Hopefully....omg....hopefully I can manage to get about five grand to pay off the debt and then have about $500 in my checking account to be able to pay for gas and food on the road trip that begins June 16th. I really think I can pull it off. I have a lot of money that is supposed to be coming to me in the month of May. I've got my lovely $600 from the government coming (that a lot of people are getting). I have a refund check that should be here soon from my first MRI that will be anywhere between $300-$600. Big help. Kicked my ass to have had to pay that back in January. I still have 4 paychecks left before I leave and maybe a bonus check. And...SSI money. That shit will save me. That right there can pay off my debt if I don't do any spending. I'll just live off ramen for the next two months. Oh...I should take out the credit cards out of my wallet. Then I can't use them when I'm out in public. Yes... Now I must get ready for that wonderful thing called work! Woo. Happy Friday!


The debt countdown: -$4703.04

The ten inch pianist

So this man came into a bar and sat at the bar in front of the bartender. The bartender asked "what'll you have?"

The man instead asked if he could show the bartender something. The bartender said sure and the man then pulled out a little piano. The bartender said, "wow that's nifty." The man then pulled out a little piano bench to go with the piano. "That's cool," said the bartender. The man then pulled out a little man that was ten inches tall and sat him on the piano bench. The little man then started playing the piano.

"Wow," said the bartender. "Where'd you get him?"

The man that had entered the bar said," I found a lamp outside your bar and rubbed it and this genie popped out and gave me this."

The bartender asked the man to watch the bar for him while he stepped out to find the lamp. The bartender found the lamp, rubbed it and sure enough a genie popped out. The genie said he would grant him one wish so the the bartender asked for a million bucks. Suddenly there were a million ducks flying around everywhere. "That's lame, I asked for a million bucks not ducks." The bartender went inside and the man asked him if he found the lamp.

"Yes but when I asked for a million bucks there were a million ducks flying around instead. How'd you get what you want?"

The man at the bar asked, "Do you really think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"

IRS and wine

So I think that it's a really good idea for people to call the IRS 15 minutes before they close while drinking. No...I didn't call the IRS but my roommate who's had more wine to drink than me did. Their hold music is the fucking nutcracker. This is not Christmas. WTF. We should start dancing around our living room. Too bad we're not recording this. We could totally put it on youtube. Alright. I think I'm going to drink some more while my roommate's cell phone speakers are blown out by the nutcracker. I feel sorry for her phone right now. yes....that's all folks!

Livin' Vegas

I perhaps should actually start blogging more often especially if I know that there may be people coming onto my page to try and read something...possibly...interesting.

It's been quite the week this last one. On the 4th I had an EP study to see if I would need a defibrillator. I did not at this time. Somewhat of a let down because it means I may need to start taking drugs. I despise having to swallow nasty horse pills or even the tiny little buggers.

My girlfriend came out to take care of me the following day from Atlanta. She also came out to help me party it up for my 21st birthday that was this past Monday. We pretty much celebrated in some way everyday this past week. Who wouldn't when they live in Vegas? We finished off the week of partying last night by seeing the show Mystere and seeing the Queens of Las Vegas at a bar. Good times Good times.

I had to take my girlfriend to the airport so she get back to Atlanta and so I wouldn't have her mother after me wondering where her daughter was...if she didn't make it home. I now have just over 2 months before I leave Las Vegas and move to Atlanta. I'm wicked excited. I think I need to pick an official day and stick to it. Then I can start counting the days before I start that long drive and also count the days until I can quit my fucking job. That's almost as exciting as moving to Atlanta. Almost.

Anyhow. I should either try to get some sleep or start getting stuff cleaned up around the apartment from all the festivities that have gone on.

Bob

I owe you the world
For teaching me
For holding me tight
For wiping my tears
For understanding me
For not letting me run away
And...
For letting me go
It may have broken my heart
But it'll mend
It'll reach out to others
As it did for you.

Hologram

There's this war billowing inside of me
What's right
What feels right
How wrong is it for things to feel right
They're not really
Just my illusion
A hologram
See one thing as it is
Change it to be something else
I get to pick what I see
How I see it
And for how long

Waiting Chance

Waiting Chance

Falling

Falling

Gone

I've lost you yet again

I don't even know if I can find you this time

I don't know if you'll give me the chance

I can't find you through this mess

My mistakes

My walls

I haven't given you the chance you deserve

Someway, somehow, I want that chance

I can't lose you forever

We're supposed to be old together

I want to find you through your years of walls

You think you're unbreakable

But I know you

I want to see you through my stream of tears

My eyes are glistening wanting your eyes to meet mine

So I'll wait

As long as it takes

Until they meet mine

Letting me give you the chance you've always deserved

I'm waiting

For my chance